On Women

We do not all have huge, voluminous hair. We do not all have HD brows. We don’t all have smooth skin, free of wrinkles and spots and blemishes. Our eyelashes are not all sweeping and long. Our noses are not always perfectly buttony and our lips are not always beestung and full. Our cheeks don’t always have a natural pink flush, nor are we all always a perfect flattering shade of tan. We do not all have symmetrical ‘beautiful’ faces.

We do not all have beautiful swan-like necks. We do not all have taut arms and shoulders. Our nails are not all long and manicured and glossy. Our breasts are not always huge, nor are they always matching, nor are they always pert. Our nipples may not be perfectly in proportion, or the ‘right’ colour. Our armpits grow hair. Sorry about that. We do not always have flat stomachs, free of stretch-marks, belly buttons that go in. Our waists may not always dip inwards just as our backs may sometimes sag over a bra strap. Our hips cannot always be small enough to fit in low-slung jeans AND big enough to easily give birth to children.

Our vaginas grow hair too. Oh also, they’re not always perfectly ‘tucked in’ but they work fine just the same, pubic hair and visible labia or not. Oh, and they bleed once a month, and sometimes it’s ugly and painful and clotted and brown. Gross right? Sometimes, our thighs and bottoms have cellulite and wobble when we walk. We do not all have legs that ‘go up to our armpits’, some of them are very short. Sometimes even, our ankles aren’t defined! We do not all have dainty feet that easily fit into beautiful glass slippers. Sometimes we have charmingly named quirks like bingo wings, cankles, crotch biscuits, spaniels ears, orange peel arse, muffin tops. We often burp and use the toilet and vomit. We use vulgar language, I mean for the love of fuck, we swear and curse like sailors.

We do not all want to be waitresses, hairdressers and mothers, nor do we wish to be judged if that is what we want. Some of us like to drink pints, some dream of being mechanics and others love playing football. Similarly those same may also like lipstick and a nice pair of shoes and well up at Beaches. We like eating Big Macs just as much as we enjoy a salad. We are not all obsessed with marriage and babies and we do not all swoon when Colin Firth jumps into that lake in Pride and Prejudice. Some of us don’t even like the film Dirty Dancing! Some of us enjoy casual sex, just like some of us like being in relationships. Sometimes, we like both of those things depending on where we’re at with ourselves and our lives and the who the other person involved is.

We are not perfect, nor are we pre-determined constructs. We are not Barbies, or porn stars, or photoshopped. We are humans that happen to be born with breasts and a vagina and that is all we all have in common. We are people desperately trying to command control of our own bodies and attitudes and make sense of what we’ve been given, despite our heads being turned a thousand different ways by society. Whether by diets, surgery or glossy magazines we’re always trying to improve and feel as though we should conform or that we’d a bit strange if we don’t. So hey, world, stop trying to make us things we are not. We can only be what we are. And that should be enough and okay. Okay?


  1. Farrah

    February 10, 2015 at 5:25 pm

    Phwoar! I feel like printing this out and reading everytime I get low.

    1. bloodyhellbrennan

      February 12, 2015 at 6:48 pm

      Oh I hope you do! Thank you so much for reading x

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