Thoughts you have when wondering to text him back
- omg he has text me first I am the queen of all things sex and woman.
- sweet CHRIST I am funny
- he is fucking LOVING it
- I’m totally not reading into this because I’m so cool and breezy as fuck but IMAGINE if we actually got together, wouldn’t that make a good story?!
- still so naht reading into it because I am SO caj I’m living in the Caj Mahal but also my name + his last name = SMILEY FACE EMOJI RED DRESS DANCING LADY EMOJI
- actually bloody hell no, his last name is absolutely terrible and I’m a fierce feminist so I’ll keep my own.
- O EM GEEEEE he’s now stopped being polite and is now full on sexting me. I am the absolute don of sex and Baroness of Sass. Hahahaaaaaa lol
- dick pics could not be less sexy. Literally mate send me a picture of your elbow and I’ll find it as sexy as a picture of your dick.
- oh ffs now he wants a saucy pic of my tits. *spends next 15 mins arranging lighting*
- WHY DON’T MY BOOBS LOOK GOOD FROM ANY CAMERA ANGLE WHEN THEY LOOK FINE IN REAL LIFE
- oh ffs now one nipple isn’t as erect as the other
- k send pic to best mate first to check boobs look okay
- k send
- *3 hours later* he hasn’t replied yet but has been on Whatsapp four mins ago coooooool, no no that is super.
- I am the ugliest.
- why did I let that lightening bearer enter the pool of my righteousness and then steal my wind?
- right fuck it I am never texting him again
- oh shiz McGhee what if I end up on some sort of porn site because of this?!
- nah, nah chill, he’ll reply. he’s probably just legit busy.
- or hates me. could go either way.
- should I text again just to make sure?
- NO AS IF I will look like the most desperate woman in the world!! Even though he was the one that chased me in the first place. God forbid I should look like I’M interested. NEVER TEXT TWICE. Nah it’s cool, no sweat, I’m down with it. I won’t text again for fear of looking like I might possibly be open to a sexual/romantic relationship/think he is actually quite nice. I will ignore him. Don’t hate the playa hate the game.
- ZOMG HE REPLIED MY INNER GODDESS IS DOING SOMERSAULTS
- fucking hell just remembered how shit ’50 Shades’ was
- K WHAT SHALL I TEXT BACK THO 4 REAL
- nah actually, better idea, I’m not going to reply, I’ll look much cooler that way because he text me last.
- *refresh tinder*
- The end. #21stCenturyDating
Samantha
January 26, 2015 at 11:08 amHahahaaaa, this is bloody brilliant! This is my life.. xx
Sam | Samantha Betteridge
bloodyhellbrennan
January 26, 2015 at 12:19 pmRIGHT!? Lovely blog by the way! x
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September 17, 2015 at 2:48 amI don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I do not know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you aren’t already 😉 Cheers!|